(dad and me in the early 70’s… he has amazing shoes on… the whole outfit really!)

i spent the last few days with my dad… my mother went to “quilt camp” for the week with her quilting girlfriends as she has done for probably the last thirty years and i came out to berkeley to keep my father company for the weekend (i am so HAPPY that flying is an option now!) it is strange to be in the house without mom… we always have our coffee together early morning which she prepares in her very fancy, complicated machine - dad does not drink coffee - and sit at the kitchen table chatting. so i had to make my own coffee with her machine that is as fragile as an orchid and as demanding as a toddler. the first day the machine cooperated nicely which made me feel really competent and possibly a bit cocky. but the second day panic set in as he refused to carry on after i pressed the cappuccino button and red lights started flashing. i thought the little drawing was indicating that he was low on beans, but when i opened the top, there were loads of them in there. finally i realized that i was meant to empty the grounds. this is tricky as the large, flat pan is also full of mucky water that you don’t want to spill as you awkwardly make your way to the sink. finally i got everything dumped and reinstalled and then more red lights were pinging at me… this time he was low on water. HAY SEUS! he makes really good coffee but needs so much attention (this is why i have a VERY simple drip maker, mom is much more technically adept than me!) and honestly this one is a VAST improvement from her last machine who was even more finicky and difficult to understand. that one had to go to the shop for detailed repair a few times before he was finally put down. my mother mourned him deeply until she brought this current guy home. she does not have pets, but caring for this coffee machine is far more consuming than feeding and cuddling with hank.

(mom’s new coffee maker when the grounds needed to be emptied)

so dad and i were bumbling around my parents’ big house feeling a bit untethered without mom when it dawned on us that we could do all the things that are not allowed when she is home: we turned up the heat - mom likes the house kept like an igloo while dad and i prefer a temperature that my first husband refers to as “bangladesh,” we loaded the dishwasher the way we like (really the way I LIKE as dad does not have strong feelings about this) and we used as many glasses as we wanted (because we were in charge of the dishwasher.) some rules are too ingrained to break: i stuck with the striped towels and did not touch the solid ones and i still parked the car in the first spot after the driveway instead of under the tree, which is what i would do in another life because it gets so hot (both the exterior and the interior are black) - mom doesn’t like when leaves fall on the car - and dad turned over all the pans i washed so they were face down the way mom does. 

(how mom likes to keep the house… photo: backdrop express)

we met friends out for dinner (cesar of course!) and had friends in. we slept late (i LOVE hank so much but am realizing that i might sleep a little better when he is somewhere else), we bought perfect bananas to eat and made banana bread with the spotty ones at the house (like hank and me dad only likes bright yellow, unblemished bananas) we laughed and we laughed and we took naps during the day and while watching the evening news (dad and i are both a bit narcoleptic.) we had a lovely time and i am so grateful for this special pre birthday weekend… he is turning EIGHTY in about two weeks! x0x0x

(dad napping in the 70’s when he was really into plants)

(dad taking care of those plants in the 70’s… right in the middle of the sidewalk!)

(hank is also VERY good at napping…)

to read more about my dad click here