my dearest, darling lucy is THIRTEEN today! she has been full of surprises ever since our doctor called with the news of my very much desired but completely unanticipated pregnancy. she arrived with a bang and has been upending our lives and our thinking and our hearts ever since. lucy - i cannot begin to tell you how proud and GRATEFUL i am to be your mama. wishing you a thirteenth year full of joy, adventure, SLEEP, snuggles, GOOD BOOKS and loads of LOVE! i love you higher than the sky is high and deeper than the ocean is deep! x00xx
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our poor popper...
(our sweet bubbie with all of his shaved parts…)
my sweetest baby boy hank had to have BACK SURGERY two wednesdays ago. the tuesday evening prior, at the tail end of our FOUR hours of zoom parent/teacher conferences (for some reason the middle school and the high school scheduled them for the same night) we noticed that something was terribly wrong with hank. he was panting outrageously and shaking like someone just scared the bejeezus out of him. his vet was already closed so we took him to the animal ER, V.E.G.: veterinary emergency group. i have to say, they were so KIND there… they offered us drinks and comfortable chairs and snuggled him up trying to help him calm down. after a physical exam, the doctor predicted that it was his spine. (his reaction to touch was equal on each side and he was doing a weird thing with both of his back feet.) she couldn’t be positive without an MRI so she directed us to another ER (C.A.S.E.: colorado animal specialty and emergency) where they have the MRI machine and a neurologist on call. she said in the past, they would have sent us home with pain meds and instructions to monitor him for a few days, but new research has shown that immediate confirmation is better and that if we waited and it was indeed his spine he could be paralyzed by the weekend. HAY SEUS! they gave him methadone and another sedative and we headed over to C.A.S.E. even with the drugs, hank was still panting HARD. the team at C.A.S.E. was also really wonderful. they gave him FENTANYL (which freaked me out but they said they can give dogs these drugs because there is not a fear of them holding up the corner bodega desperate for cash to feed their addiction because we can control how much they get. i was left wondering if there are people out there who take their dogs’ medication.)
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super bowl sunday
hank and i had a rough start on super bowl sunday… i put the garbage in the back hall to take outside and forgot to shut the door to the mudroom. everything was really quiet and i realized hank was missing from his usual position on the sofa. when i raced back there he was in the middle of a DISGUSTING mess - coffee grounds strewn all over, candy wrappers scattered (i finally found the halloween candy i hid in november), brown, gooey banana peels and other gross stuff i couldn’t even identify. this may be the first time i really yelled at hank. he HAS gotten into the garbage before but i gave him a pass and explained that that is not done in my house. this time he KNEW he was crossing a line. i can be pretty forgiving (especially with hank) but messes put me over the edge. i would prefer him to sneak some beers or miss his curfew than create that kind of situation for me to clean.
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HAPPY, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 2023! x00xx
2022 holidays x0x
for some reason the holidays feel more hectic than usual this year… possibly because after several years of the pandemic and toning down the celebrations i am totally out of practice. and we didn’t even leave town for thanksgiving. we had a nice, quiet one in boulder with all the grandma turkey plates and glassware and recipes from my mother (i didn’t even make a turkey - i picked up a cooked one up from whole foods… i can roast the crap out of a chicken, but turkeys terrify me) and we watched the macy’s day parade (we just LOVE those rockettes!) while we made pies (blackberry, apple and pumpkin - we need to overdo it so we can have pie for breakfast in the days following.) mariah carey was the grand finale and honestly, no one sings about christmas like that gorgeous diva did in her red mermaid dress and CROWN… the BEST! but the highlight of the day was definitely the national dog show, won by none other than winston, THE FRENCHIE!
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repost of my mother's WILD RICE STUFFING recipe
(hank LOVES dressing up for thanksgiving!)
* i am reposting this delicious rice stuffing recipe from my mother - HAPPY THANKSGIVING! x0x
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middle school bedroom
in art, family, hank, quilts, residential interior
the summer before my lucy started middle school she wanted to buy new school clothes. in the past, i typically just dipped into the girls’ section on a target run and picked up dresses and leggings and tees in bright colors that featured unicorns, rainbows, hearts and glitter. i loved selecting happy outfits for her and she was always delighted with what i brought home. this time, however, she wanted to come along and weigh in on everything. at first i thought it might be fun.
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happy, happy new year! x0x
(hank contemplating the sweet new year…)
on the jewish calendar, the new year, rosh hashanah, is celebrated in the fall. this timing has always resonated with me as it is the start of the school year and a change of season into fresh, brisk, invigorating weather (although here in boulder the school year now starts in mid AUGUST which is just bananas!) wishing you all a bright, peaceful new year… l'shana tova! x0x
la vie en ROSE! x0x
i spent a significant portion of my childhood trying to convince my parents to get a dog. i didn’t understand until years later that this was always going to be a fruitless endeavor as my brother has severe allergies to anything furry. probably to deflect my desperate campaign, my father, who grew up in minneapolis and was a HUGE vikings fan, told me that if the vikings won the super bowl we could get a puppy. each fall my heart was full of hope and i cheered and supported and rallied behind those guys in purple and gold and each year i was terribly disappointed. they actually went to the super bowl FOUR times (’70, ’74, ’75 and ’77) and LOST each time. those years were definitely the hardest and i am just realizing might be why i really don’t care for purple or yellow. i don’t know what my father would have done if they had actually pulled it off because there was always the issue of my brother. maybe he understood, after rooting for them for decades that it was never going to happen. to date, it STILL hasn’t!
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just in case you need it... x0x
in hank
last evening hank and i were walking in our beloved north boulder park and we came upon this tree wrapped in a crocheted message: GO FOR IT! we have been feeling a bit down and overwhelmed with all of the horrible happenings of late: roe, uvalde, buffalo, ukraine… and it really lifted our spirits. so THANK YOU crochet artist for sharing this bit of encouragement… it put a big smile on our faces! x0x
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the center of our universe
when theo was about three, an old friend of my first husband came to visit us in amsterdam. he was and is quite a character - a serious new yorker who looks like a rockstar but with a sweetie heart. he was hilarious with theo because he talked to him like an adult and by the end of his visit theo was tweaking his outfits and looked like he could be a drummer for guns n’ roses. on the last morning, after watching us dance around theo while serving him breakfast, first’s friend said, “WOW! that kid is front and center…FRONT AND CENTER!” and he was right.
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my tread teacher, jess, with the one big dimple
(baby hank in his first sweater)
so today during my “pop walk” with jess with the one dimple (like lu and my grandma) it came out that jess’ dog, zeus, died earlier in the week and she was missing her walks with him. i am not sure when she recorded this class but i just started bawling. i had to really grab onto the sides of my tread to make sure i didn’t get distracted by my grief and fall off. i have to imagine that she is the the kind of person who would have a frenchie, like hank, and i was pretty gutted.
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the most WONDERFUL ones! x00xx
(half californian…)
for whatever reason it was not easy for me to get pregnant. i used thermometers and ovulation kits and “planned” and “relaxed” and went to the terrifying dr. wu for acupuncture and smelly herbs and ultimately created embryos via IVF with the incredible dr. cedars of U.C.S.F. these two were actually from the same batch but lu was frozen for four years. (only recently did she understand that she was NOT tucked up next to the mint chip ice cream at home but was in a freezer at the doctor’s office.) i think that’s why they look so much alike. lucy considers them twins. theo does not buy into that and feels 100% like an older brother. i am just so GRATEFUL that fertility science was advanced enough sixteen years ago that dr. cedars could help us bring these two into the world. i am GRATEFUL to all of the amazing people who supported us through that super intense process that entailed coordinating drugs and doctors from two countries (they were both born in the netherlands even though they began in san francisco.) and i am GRATEFUL to the legions of people: our kraamy, my dutch baby group, the godparents, the grandparents, the fairy godparents, the aunties and uncles, the babysitters, the teachers and the beloved friends who have helped us nurture and support them. i cannot imagine my life without these two half californian, half new yorker monkeys with a big splash of dutch and even some coloradan (i DID just get a tread and the accompanying attire like a real boulder mom) thrown in. they are everything. HAPPY, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! x0x0x
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the new normal
my parents came to stay with us in amsterdam when my first baby was born. after a few weeks of being woken up constantly at night, regularly getting puked on, never being able to count on any kind of schedule and feeling insanely tired i said, “mom… when is my life going back to NORMAL?” “oh honey,” she said brightly, “this IS your new normal!” and she was right.
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daylight savings
this sunday hank and i slept in until 7:30 am, which is practically mid day for us… typically we are roosters. (i think best early morning and hank is eager to have his breakfast and first potty of the day… he usually goes straight back to bed after - literally, he heads directly upstairs and curls up in my bed for a few more hours…he’s not very industrious with his mornings.) i was so excited about the extra sleep until i got into the kitchen and saw that the clock on my range didn’t match my phone. for some reason i never know when daylight savings is coming. this was the “bad” kind of daylight savings where you lose an hour, but it was also good because now the clock in my car is correct (i’ve been waiting SIX MONTHS for this) so i won’t have to adjust when i look at the time… i just have to remember NOT to adjust.
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valentine's day 2022 x00xx
we LOVE valentine’s day around here… we love MAKING valentines…
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HAPPY, HAPPY 80th BIRTHDAY (in two days) to my WONDERFUL mother! x0x0x
(my mother’s high school senior portrait)
my mother is a study of contradictions. she grew up on a farm in the very small town of atlantic, iowa. she embraced the no-nonsense, stiff upper lip, super kind, mid-western values (AND the comfort food, which i grew up with) but always felt misplaced on a farm. she did not enjoy collecting eggs at the crack of dawn - she says the hens were ruthless and would pinch the backs of her hands and twist her skin… i have to ask her why she didn’t wear gloves - or get particularly attached to her 4H cow (who she showed in penny loafers, not work boots) or adopt a runty pig like fern that she bottle fed and doted on. no - she moved to the “big city” of minneapolis straight away after college and started working in fashion. she preferred urban sidewalks (where she could wear pretty shoes) and buses to fields and tractors. she was thrilled that her job as a junior buyer for dayton’s department store took her on regular trips to new york where she could soak in the energy and art and architecture and bagels (which she’d never had before) of the biggest, most exciting city in the country.
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POSITIVE!
so it turns out i didn’t just have A virus over the holidays… i had THE virus! when i got back to boulder after christmas i had a sore throat which progressed into a throat ON FIRE with a runny nose, headache and some nausea. i was pretty flat for three days taking nyquil, drinking theraflu and sucking on ricolas (which i HATE so that is an indication of how tender my throat was - i only had them in the house because my dad loves them so i keep them on hand for his visits, which obviously haven’t happened since before the pandemic so they were very old, but still strong and nasty!) during that period my friend dropped off a home test which came back negative. i wasn’t seeing anyone (except hank, of course) because the kids went skiing with my first husband and i was feeling super cruddy and i wouldn’t have wanted to spread what i thought was a bad cold or strep anyway.
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holiday photo 2021
in family, holiday, hank, photography
once again my kids completely lucked out for our holiday photo. my super talented friend, stephanie beresford, wanted to try out some new camera lenses and did a little shoot with them in the backyard. i have no idea when we did this… just that it was “some time” during the pandemic (i think i have permanent corona brain, which has left me unable to remember when anything happened) but it WAS in 2021. theo’s hair is even longer now and lucy has more of a “middle school” air about her, but beyond that they look the same. after all that these kids have had to process in the last two years: the corona, home schooling (especially “math with mom”), me being in school and FREAKING OUT over autocad and sketchup, endless door dash, multiple horrendous shootings, me too, BLM, all the wild fires and smokey air, the loss of our beloved GG AND the loss of our grandma on the “i” street, my vacuum being in the shop for so long (which has lots of ramifications for MY mental health and subsequently theirs) and just the loss of “normal life” (i keep imagining them sitting in a bar in their forties chatting with someone about this pandemic period, “how crazy was your mom during corona?”) i just couldn’t put them through further trauma for a more recent photo… i’m an AWESOME mom like that!
Read Morethanksgiving gratitude
(hank LOVES dressing up for thanksgiving!)
even though the corona is STILL effecting us all (nearly TWO YEARS later… HAY SEUS!) the pandemic has made me really grateful for a lot of things i took for granted PP…
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