i spent the last few days with my dad… my mother went to “quilt camp” for the week with her quilting girlfriends as she has done for probably the last thirty years and i came out to berkeley to keep my father company for the weekend (i am so HAPPY that flying is an option now!) it is strange to be in the house without mom… we always have our coffee together early morning which she prepares in her very fancy, complicated machine - dad does not drink coffee - and sit at the kitchen table chatting. so i had to make my own coffee with her machine that is as fragile as an orchid and as demanding as a toddler. the first day the machine cooperated nicely which made me feel really competent and possibly a bit cocky. but the second day panic set in as he refused to carry on after i pressed the cappuccino button and red lights started flashing. i thought the little drawing was indicating that he was low on beans, but when i opened the top, there were loads of them in there. finally i realized that i was meant to empty the grounds. this is tricky as the large, flat pan is also full of mucky water that you don’t want to spill as you awkwardly make your way to the sink. finally i got everything dumped and reinstalled and then more red lights were pinging at me… this time he was low on water. HAY SEUS! he makes really good coffee but needs so much attention (this is why i have a VERY simple drip maker) and honestly this one is a VAST improvement from her last machine who was even more finicky and difficult to understand. that one had to go to the shop for detailed repair a few times before he was finally put down. my mother mourned him deeply until she brought this current guy home. she does not have pets, but caring for this coffee machine is far more consuming than feeding and cuddling with hank.
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restoration
each summer when we return to boulder from our long stay in california i have “reentry” problems… i feel jumbled and foggy and a bit overwhelmed. so i have developed a (compulsive?) process of restoration that helps me adjust back to my boulder life - basically i CLEAN everything. i start with the laundry, of course. the last two summers we have road tripped to berkeley and back (the first summer because of the corona and this summer because hank can’t fly anymore… he used to travel as an “emotional support” dog but all the airlines changed the rules as people started bringing “therapeutic” peacocks and donkeys on their flights. hank is too big for the carrier you can keep at your feet and with his smush face it’s not safe for him to be placed in the underbelly of the plane so the only way to get him to california is to drive.) even if we leave the west coast with suitcases full of clean clothes, after a week in the car we have tons of dirty stuff. this may take several wash loads, which gives me time to clean out the dressers and pull all the items that are too small or otherwise deemed unnecessary. this year i was delighted to realize that i’d sorted through the dressers and closets right before we left so i could put the clean clothes back straight away.
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i left my heart in san francisco
we are preparing to road trip back to boulder from berkeley this week. last summer we drove out because of the corona but this summer we drove because hank is not allowed to fly anymore. he used to travel as an “emotional support” dog but people started boarding with peacocks and donkeys in tow and now the whole program is cancelled.… i am reposting this story from a couple of summers ago because i am always so sad to leave… we DID hit up all of our favorites, except bartavelle because they closed during the pandemic. we’ve had an absolutely lovely time and are so excited that we will be able to come back for thanksgiving this year! x0x
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fentons
i am reposting this story about fentons ice creamery because my daughter just survived a TWO NIGHT stay in the woods with her friends and counselors at camp kee tov. i always promise my children a banana split if they manage to stay alive while sleeping out in the nature and so far this incentive system has ensured that they return intact, if incredibly filthy. some may think i am a bit dramatic about the dangers of this sojourn in the forest, but the bay area is famous for its vicious gangs of wild, maurading turkeys and last week hank and i happened upon a gaggle of them down by the marina. despite my great fear, i managed to get a photo of a couple of them (there were SIX in total)… look how HUGE and gnarly they are. so you see that my worry is completely merited… we have one more sleepover to go this summer and hopefully one more visit to fentons.
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christmas traditions
corona has completely upended christmas this year. we are not meant to travel or even celebrate locally with others outside of our immediate families. so this will be the first boulder christmas for my family… since we’ve returned to the states we have always gone to california. traditions i have taken for granted will have to wait: my mother’s christmas buns (i CANNOT replicate these - i tried when we were living in amsterdam and they came out like little rocks) or visiting the giant gingerbread house at the fairmont hotel with our dear friends, or going to see the nutcracker (the SF ballet does a terrific one!) or my very favorite - christmas dinner at my sister in law’s house in san francisco (this is a big affair - they also include several other families from various aspects of their lives. i only see these families at this dinner and it is so much fun to note how their children have grown and hear the stories of what has happened to them over the course of the year. plus the food is DELICIOUS - jedo makes a big roast with red pepper sauce, shanon brings a huge, creative, colorful salad, others bring all kinds of interesting side dishes and my mother shares a platter of frosted cookies, homemade caramels and chocolate peanut butter balls. when the kids were smaller, they would eat first while we grown ups hovered over them, cutting their roast beef and encouraging them to try the salad and refilling their milk. we generously let them have first dibs on the desserts and then they would be sequestered away with chocolate smeared faces and a movie. the grown ups would then enjoy a long, relaxing, yummy dinner. last year the kids were deemed competent enough to cut their own meat and we all ate at the same time, which was lovely. the whole evening is chaotic [especially during the opening of presents - one year all of the kids were given red adidas track suits like the royal tenenbaums, which was amazing] festive and exhausting. it is perfect. i can’t wait for next year when i really hope we can resume this special celebration.)
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on the road again... corona road trip part 2
because the scenery on our road trip from colorado to california was so uninspiring, we decided to take a different route back in hopes of seeing lots of ocean and even those elusive, giant red rocks. we left our darling cottage at the crack of dawn and hopped on highway 1, the road that follows the coastline, to take us to los angeles. my kids had been questioning why we were traveling a way that would add hours to our journey, but as soon as we hit half moon bay, they understood. it was a LONG day (we were in the car for ELEVEN hours) but my heart was swelling as we traced the coast and viewed the pacific in all of its iterations: rocky cliffs, pebbled beaches, sandy dunes… we detoured in pebble beach and took the 17 mile drive - breathtaking! my girlfriend grew up there so we had her on the phone narrating our journey as we drove through pebble and carmel. she directed us to the most adorable sweet shop on ocean avenue (it was still too early to go in, but we are determined to return!)
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california corona
somehow against all rational thought i imagined going on holiday in california would also be a break from the corona. of course, the closer we got to the golden state, the more the virus was spiking in our destination. we arrived to a berkeley even more bunkered down than boulder, where EVERYONE was wearing masks in public, where most of the restaurants were closed (except for take-out), where many people still had not had a proper haircut (most notably my parents who look like a couple of the founding fathers - my dad favoring thomas jefferson [normally he looks more like jimmy carter] and my mother’s curls reminiscent of john adams’ with the middle bit filled in) and people practicing really conservative social distancing. nevertheless, we were DELIGHTED to arrive.
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corona road trip
in this time of corona when air travel feels dicey, we decided to road trip to california for our annual summer visit… spoiler: WE MADE IT! that may be an obvious conclusion for most, but given my flimsy navigational abilities, it was no guarantee for us. (our odds WERE probably elevated by the fact that my first husband generously decided to accompany us on the ride out - corona concerns aside, i think he was worried that we would end up in toledo or baton rouge by mistake.)
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corona summer
(a road trip to my grandparents’ house circa 1974)
i am not sure what week of corona it is anymore, but here in boulder it is now summer. last week my son virtually “graduated” from middle school with a youtube video sharing their 8th grade yearbook photos and some candids and my daughter’s fourth grade year was capped off with a parade of her teachers on bikes and decorated cars. both of these ceremonies made me teary and stand in shock at what has happened the last couple of months. the transition to online school was so swift and difficult to manage, but now we are all wondering WHAT THE HELL we are going to do with our kids until it starts up again?
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corona
in the last few weeks the world has turned completely upside down. two weeks ago i attended what we lovingly refer to as the “no talent show” at my daughter’s elementary school. this is a day i dread each year as the show goes on for HOURS, the gym is always a bazillion degrees (this is coming from someone who is almost never too hot) and i end up feeling punch drunk and cheering too loudly out of desperation for it to end. this year my girlfriend confided that she’d had two beers before she came, which i thought was brilliant. in NINE years i have never thought to give myself an aid like that. and now i may never have to because it’s hard to imagine in our new corona reality that we will ever jam ourselves into a hot, stuffy gym with fourteen million elementary school kids, their sneezy, coughy siblings and all their parents and grandmas and grandpas to boot.
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i LOVE new york!
i moved to new york to go to grad school when i was twenty-three or four. i felt like i needed to stay after i completed my program because my studies had been so intense that i might as well have been in kansas for all i saw of the city. thus began the cycle of my tortured clashesque dilemma: “should i stay or should i go now?” that i revisited each summer. the appeal of california was strong - my whole family was there, it was the landscape of my childhood and i am generally a sunny person in keeping with the california persona. but new york offered so many freedoms - the ability to pop into a taxi without worrying about the directions, a numbered grid geography that also alleviated my navigational challenges (unless i was too far downtown where the streets are a jumble of unalphabetized names), the potential to be both anonymous (not having to smile and say hello to everyone you pass on the street as is customary in california - i find this friendliness EXHAUSTING) and known (by my dry cleaner, my bodega guy, my corner take out) and, of course, the SUBWAY - such an easy system that even i, who continues to get lost in my own hometown, could competently traverse the city. my california/new york conflict was so strong that for a while, i would only date transplanted californians, in case i decided i wanted to move back.
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bike to school
each fall in boulder, there is at least one wednesday morning when you are supposed to bike your children to school. i live on 7th between the “c” and “d” streets and school is on the “h” street and 9th… so really, school is only six blocks away. that may not seem like a lot (especially since we lived in amsterdam for nearly six years and i biked everywhere), but you have to take into consideration the hills and the severe altitude we have to deal with here in our mountain town. when i was married, i always pushed the “bike to school” responsibility onto my husband. when we got divorced and our parenting plan was set, giving me the kids every wednesday, i considered asking for a special stipulation exempting me from those particular wednesday mornings. but we had enough to sort out and i kept my mouth shut.
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i left my heart in san francisco
every summer the kids and i spend a month in northern california. they go to camp during the day (kee tov) where they each have a gang of dear friends because all the same kids return year after year. EVERY day they come home smiling and full of stories about their crazy camp adventures. they also come home VERY dirty, which is a bit challenging for me, but i try not to get too flapped and keep baby wipes in the car, except on “messy day” when they need to be seriously hosed down and baby wipes are moot. (on messy day they are squirted with paint and chocolate sauce and whip cream and slime and whatever else their counselors come up with… they get off the bus wearing garbage bags!)
Read Morefifteen
we moved to amsterdam from san francisco when i was pregnant with my first baby. we stayed there for nearly the first five years of his life and the very beginning of my daughter’s. traveling with babies is not easy… particularly on eleven hour international flights. and then when you arrive there is the horrendous jet lag that kicks in (there’s a NINE hour time difference between california and the netherlands.) so i only brought my children home once a year, but we would stay for at least a month to stabilize and enjoy the visit before heading back. now that we live in colorado we have continued this summer tradition. the kids LOVE their camp in berkeley (kee tov) and i get to spend time with my family and all my growing up friends.
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WWJD? and i don't mean jesus, i mean jane...
the fall before last, two new activities coincided for me… i started dating again and i joined a jane austen book club. the first activity was pretty nerve wracking. i had tried to sign up for the bumble app many months before, but you can only use it on your phone and the writing was so small that i couldn’t see it and i closed it down. i had to get reading glasses a couple of years ago and i am still very upset about it. my entire family has worn glasses for decades and i was a bit vain about my unique 20/20 vision. i used to be able to see everything so clearly, even street signs blocks away - that was really helpful with my directional challenges - until i noticed that my texts were fuzzy in the mornings. i thought it was just because i am always tired (SLEEPING is something else i was really good at until the last few years and i am also pretty upset about that!) until i realized that my texts were fuzzy in the middle of the day too. so i finally went to an eye doctor (a place i had NEVER been before) and got checked. sure enough, i needed readers. i bought my first pair at the doctor’s office and they were expensive, which was a bummer. and they did not last long, as i fall asleep reading most evenings and they got mashed one night when i rolled over on them. now i just get them at the walgreens… between hank sneaking them into the backyard to gnaw on and me smashing them in my sleep (i frequently wake up with a dent in my forehead now, which is annoying when i have an early meeting because it typically takes a few hours to go away) they are pretty temporary possessions.
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sayulita
i booked our holiday to sayulita several months ago and then promptly forgot about it. two days prior to our trip, i looked up our flights and discovered we were meant to depart at seven IN THE MORNING! i must have had a good reason for choosing a flight at an hour that meant we would have to get up in the middle of the night, but i honestly can’t remember it. so at the last minute, we decided to go the night before and stay at the lovely westin at DIA. this hotel, designed by gensler, is in the shape of those little wings they used to give children on flights when i was a kid. the best part is the pool on the top floor in the dip between the wings. we stayed there once before when we got blizzarded in right before christmas and no flights were leaving. the view then was pretty surreal as there is nothing around the denver airport and there was so much snow it felt like we were on the moon. on that trip we spent hours in the restaurant brunching (i still think about this delicious breakfast sandwich we ate with bacon, egg, cheese and avocado that i could never properly replicate), watching movies and swimming. it was a wonderful way to start our vacation. this time was not as relaxing because we still had to get up at 4 am, but we did have room service at 4:30 am… there are not many things better than someone knocking on your door bearing a little trolley of coffee and warm breakfast.
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iPad
last week i went to see my superstar colorist, liz murphy, so she could paint away the pesky “sparklers” that insist on growing out of my head and she was shocked by the big dent next to my eyebrow. “what happened to you?” she asked. “oh, i fell asleep on my glasses last night reading.” liz is a big reader too and understands that changing my bedtime routine is not an option. but i had already been awake for several hours and the mark on my face was still quite prominent and definitely not pretty, so clearly, something had to change. liz, who has the wisdom of yoda, but looks like a bombshell, said, “you need a reading device, like a kindle or an iPad.” of course i have heard of the kindle, but i have not been interested in them because i love holding an actual book. i love the feel of the paper and “personalizing” my books by turning down the pages of passages i like or bending the page corners to remember my place (this doesn’t happen all that often as i usually fall asleep before i manage to do that.) i like arranging my finished books on my bookshelf so i can reference them later or lend them out to friends. and i love looking at the jacket designs and all the color and warmth books add to a room. i just love books.
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summer cleaning
returning to boulder after a month in berkeley is challenging every summer. i get so immersed in my california life that i’m a bit discombobulated when i get back to colorado. i forget my regular routes to places, i mix people up and can’t remember how i know them and generally feel a bit muddled for a while… a sort of travel dementia. this year was tougher than usual because everything was broken when i left and unfortunately, everything was still broken when i returned. my garage remains bent outward from when i bashed it while backing out the day before my trip. the grass in my backyard is all dried up - i DID call the sprinkler guy before leaving and he just didn’t come. (he showed up yesterday and said that a BEAR had chewed a portion of the piping for my sprinklers. i thought maybe it was actually hank, but then i saw a GIANT poop next to the fence. it looks like paul bunyan squatted down in my lilacs - sometimes there is just too much nature in boulder.) the AC in my house is still spotty, despite the AC man “fixing” it before my departure and to top it off, my car wouldn’t start AGAIN! i realize that these are all minor, fixable problems in the grand scheme of things, but it’s taken me longer than usual to get myself sorted and functioning properly.
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fentons
i am not a camper. there is just about nothing in the scope of that activity that i enjoy… i like to be clean, i like proper toilets, i like hot showers, i like cozy beds, i like to be indoors and i like to be safe. so camping is not something i would ever do, even with my children. i’m happy to do camping-like things (s’mores by a fire pit, blanket forts in the living room, picnics in a park, looking at the stars from the backyard, daytime walks in the nature, what i call “car hiking” and scary stories) but i like to sleep in an indoor bed. when we first moved to boulder, i was picking my son up from school and there was a discussion on the radio about a boy scout who got his face eaten off by a mountain lion in OUR colorado mountains. the story was so horrifying that i forgot i had my children in the car until theo piped up and said, “wait… WHAT happened mama?” “a little boy got eaten up by a mountain lion when he was sleeping in the nature - that’s why we don’t camp!” i replied. and i hoped it would put him off camping forever.
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south side
i grew up on the north side of berkeley, right near the little tunnel that runs under the marin circle and off a shopping street full of restaurants and quirky boutiques called solano. my friends all lived very close by… mostly because i got lost so easily and could only have friends whose houses i could find. this was in the days before mothers drove you all around the world for playdates. i can still distinctly picture the map my friend cynthia’s mother drew for me so i could get to their house. at the time we were in a rental behind the library and i had to walk three long blocks past the firehouse (she made a perfect circle that i marveled at, to indicate the station, as berkeley’s no. 4 is cyclindrical - designed in 1960 by ratcliff architecture) and turn right on los angeles for half a block. i carried that map with me for months (yes - i am a SLOW geographic learner) when i was going to her house.
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