somehow against all rational thought i imagined going on holiday in california would also be a break from the corona. of course, the closer we got to the golden state, the more the virus was spiking in our destination. we arrived to a berkeley even more bunkered down than boulder, where EVERYONE was wearing masks in public, where most of the restaurants were closed (except for take-out), where many people still had not had a proper haircut (most notably my parents who look like a couple of the founding fathers - my dad favoring thomas jefferson [normally he looks more like jimmy carter] and my mother’s curls reminiscent of john adams’ with the middle bit filled in) and people practicing really conservative social distancing. nevertheless, we were DELIGHTED to arrive.
Read More(american gate-leg dining table from 1695-1720 owned by the bowdoin family [founders of college in maine]; photo: historic deerfield)
my dear friend, cait mcquade, who is a museum professional and has extensively studied american cultural history (and has a TERRIFIC blog on the various ways we experience museums) let me know that i am not the first to endorse flexible home furnishings. according to cait: “U.S. domestic spaces in colonial and early republic homes were also convertible. all furnishings were kept against the walls when rooms weren't in use (maybe so as not to trip over things in the dim lighting?). folding furniture, mostly tables, kept the center space open until it was time to play cards, work on sewing, or serve tea.” super interesting!
Read Morein this time of corona when air travel feels dicey, we decided to road trip to california for our annual summer visit… spoiler: WE MADE IT! that may be an obvious conclusion for most, but given my flimsy navigational abilities, it was no guarantee for us. (our odds WERE probably elevated by the fact that my first husband generously decided to accompany us on the ride out - corona concerns aside, i think he was worried that we would end up in toledo or baton rouge by mistake.)
Read Morepre corona my day ended by 2:55 pm for school pick up (actually 2:40ish because i had to get there.) from that point on i was making snacks, helping with homework, schlepping kids (my own and other peoples’) to soccer or hip hop or tennis or trumpet, prepping dinner, and schlepping back to pick said children up from soccer or hip hop or tennis or trumpet, squeezing in trips to the safeway or the UPS or the walgreens and trying to send out work emails or texts in the odd ten minute windows that were available. by the time we got through dinner (and all the nagging and threats around eating “five more bites” or no dessert or no phone or whatever else i could think of, i was exhausted. and i would put us all to bed very early because i had no “cheese” left.
Read Morefor as long as i can remember, my father has said this to me… when he was putting me to bed, when he was saying good-bye, or sometimes just because he was passing by. i always imagined a vast, navy blue sky sparkling with stars reaching down to a deep purple ocean filled with colorful, friendly fish. (somehow even after i saw jaws WAY too young, that imagery never penetrated this phrase.) the enormity of all of that love surrounding me and protecting me made feel so safe, like i moved through the world in my own special cocoon. so on the tougher days like when i wasn’t invited to the sleepover or i got a really bad hair cut (fall of 8th grade and again in 10th) or some boy didn’t like me back or we didn’t win the spirit cup senior year like EVERY other class or i didn’t get into the college i wanted (my father actually called some schools and asked for my hand printed applications back) or i didn’t get the job i interviewed for (i am colossally poor in job interviews) or the boyfriend whose eyes are too close together cheated on me (i should have known when my father pointed out his flawed eye configuration) or i forgot to put the parking brake on and my big, two-ton sedan rolled down a hill right into the side of another car whose owner was at the same party i was going to or i got laid off or i couldn’t get pregnant or i had to move from amsterdam to a hot, dusty mountain town or my marriage fell apart or i missed my children so much i remained paralyzed on the sofa binge watching "girlfriend’s guide to divorce” and eating pirate booty until the roof of my mouth was shredded or even last week when i couldn’t remember where i parked after a lunch date and looked for my car (with my date) for FORTY-FIVE minutes in unbelievable heat only to find it right in front of the restaurant (i know - it’s amazing - i did NOT hear from him again!) … on all of those days, and every other, i knew my father loved me. that’s no small thing.
Read Morelast week my daughter had a piano recital on zoom along with two dozen other students. it was great to see her perform (she did a TIP TOP job), but the best part was getting a look into everyone else’s homes. my favorite was the one with the little sister laying on her belly across the top of the sofa with her feet in the air and her chin in her hands. runner up was the cat in the window seat behind the piano napping.
Read Moreas if a global pandemic and quarantine and the whole country feeling like the apocalypse isn’t stressful enough, today i made my children pose for the holiday card… (our poppies are in FULL bloom and i couldn’t help myself.) they always look so forward to this photo shoot and were absolutely GRATEFUL that i suggested it (i’m a thoughtful, FUN mama like that.) i DID have to use the full force of my diminishing strength (since i can’t go to my bar method classes) to pull my son off the sofa and detach him from the Xbox and i didn’t even try to get him to change out of his corona comfort clothes (no one really knows how many days he’s been in them) - i just matched lucy’s outfit to his - but i could tell by the warm snarl on his face that he was thrilled. i ALSO had to promise them dunkin’ donuts AND frozen custard from the good times drive thru which is a much richer offer than i usually extend, but i really didn’t want to miss the poppies.
Read More(a road trip to my grandparents’ house circa 1974)
i am not sure what week of corona it is anymore, but here in boulder it is now summer. last week my son virtually “graduated” from middle school with a youtube video sharing their 8th grade yearbook photos and some candids and my daughter’s fourth grade year was capped off with a parade of her teachers on bikes and decorated cars. both of these ceremonies made me teary and stand in shock at what has happened the last couple of months. the transition to online school was so swift and difficult to manage, but now we are all wondering WHAT THE HELL we are going to do with our kids until it starts up again?
Read Morenow that we are all spending so much time together, we’ve had to negotiate how to share space, energy, attention and generosity of spirit. it’s become more and more clear that we all have different needs at various times throughout the day and they often don’t coincide.
Read Morehank has had it with corona. he REFUSES to go on walks now. i can hardly get two blocks with him, let alone all the way to the lake that it took so much effort for me to learn how to find. when i put his leash on he’ll maybe get to the corner and then just lay down all spread out so he’s completely planted. even with his svelte new figure, he is far too heavy for me to carry (i am lazy too!) so i have to stand there and coax him with ice cubes (it’s already blazing here in boulder, even though we had loads of snow just weeks ago.) and this goes on… walking half a block, him laying down, me waiting and begging, walking another half block, him laying down and me waiting and begging and then finally me saying, “all right, do you want to go home?” at which point he pops up and RUNS at a clip all the way there. i know now that he speaks perfect english, as well as his native french. so i have to go on dog walks without my dog… and when i pass people they all ask after him (he is quite well known in our neighborhood) and they are clearly disappointed that it is only me.
Read Morethis week i definitely hit a wall with the quarantine. like most people i’ve been cleaning and cooking and cleaning and cooking and feeling like i am running underwater and not getting anywhere. last week i was distracted by passover and easter and lucy’s tenth birthday (she said it was her BEST birthday ever, which has really made me rethink these elaborate, themed parties i threw pre-corona: a dutch one in honor of her birth country with wooden shoes to paint and pannekoken [pancakes] and loads of dutch candy to eat and vases of tulips everywhere; a fairy one where i made glittery tulle fairy skirts and wands and a bazillion tissue paper flowers and decorated every tree in the backyard; a farm one that we had to move to the front driveway because we had a BLIZZARD and the snow didn’t stick to the cement, but it DID to the grass - the pig wouldn’t come out of his pen into the snow so he just stayed put on the drive. they were super fun, but maybe a little over the top… CLEARLY i needed to throw my extra energy into something and probably should have gone back to work sooner. anyway, this year we just had a long, lazy breakfast, zoom calls with family and friends, a neighborhood walk, a long, lazy dinner and finally cupcake baking… so much simpler and she LOVED it… something to ponder.)
Read Moreone of my sweetest, most poignant learnings from living in the netherlands for nearly six years is the idea of “gezellig,” the dutch word for coziness. gezellig applies to social concepts like inviting or friendly people, parties, situations and meals, but what i have been really thinking about lately as we all “shelter in place” is how the dutch instilled gezellig in their homes. in a land where it rains at least a portion of most days, our amsterdam neighbors knew how to create welcoming spaces to retreat within and enjoy their families, while the rain drummed outside. corona is pushing us all inside now and we can learn from the comforting, warm interiors of the dutch.
Read Morethere are some things i have enjoyed about the quarantine… i like not having to drag my kids out of bed by seven so we can leave for school at eight. they really prefer to sleep in until somewhere between eight thirty and nine and are generally more pleasant when they wake naturally.
Read Morein this time of "social distancing" and "shelter at home" when we are meant to remain within the confines of our houses we probably have a bit more time. it is the PERFECT opportunity for interior improvement projects. channel your boredom and extra energy by reorganizing your bookshelves to maximize their visual impact. thoughtfully arranged bookshelves add life, color, warmth and intimacy to a room. bookshelves can provide amazing insight into your loves, interests, travel, collections and favorite authors, personalizing a home and making it unique. following are tips for turning what is often only a functional aspect of a room into something that enhances, informs and brightens the space.
Read Morefor some reason it was not easy for me to get pregnant. we tried all kinds of things (besides the obvious) before finally ending up seeing the amazing dr. cedars of UCSF’s center for reproductive health. dr. cedars guided us through the whole IVF process and we ended up with ten embryos. two of those we used to get theo and we froze the rest. then we moved from san francisco to amsterdam.
Read Moreseder means “order.” there is an order to every aspect of the passover celebration from the way the seder plate is prepared to which course is served first and second and third to what prayer is said, what song is sung, what question is asked and when. even though i am not jewish, i have been hosting passover dinners for nearly twenty years. inevitably i mix up at least one aspect of the order. sometimes i even schedule the seder for the wrong evening - the jewish calendar is confusing and i am not always sure if “begins at sundown” means the dinner should take place that night or the next. i give myself a pass on this as a shiksa mama raising jewish children. i have enough trouble with simple time telling (my mom thinks that’s because i had the chicken pox the week i was meant to learn it in first grade) and adjusting to different time zones and daylight savings.
Read Moremy whole life there have been two essential easter recipes served at our brunch: my mother’s mushroom crust quiche and her easter buns. they are both a little trashy… the quiche has smashed up saltines in the crust and the buns are made with the dough that comes in a can you bang on the counter to pop open. but they are both delicious. the quiche (or KWEE-CHEE as theo used to call it) LOOKS a little more elegant, but the buns are never pretty. the filling always squirts out and the jam slides around so they are just a mess. i have tried and tried to clean them up to no avail. when new people come for easter, they usually bypass them on the buffet and i have to force them to try one… no one has ever been disappointed. AND they are both still yummy, cold, the next morning as leftovers. happy, happy easter all! x0xx
Read Morei am a bit abashed to admit that my children are the ones who have pushed me to consider how the product choices i make for my home effect the environment. because of them we now have a collection of metal straws (BIG ones so they can be easily cleaned with a little brush), reusable bowl and cup covers that look like my grandmother’s shower caps (used in place of plastic wrap) and cloth napkins for everyday use, rather than paper ones. i DO cringe each time they rub spaghetti sauce or jam on the napkins because of course that means they will need to be washed. “mama, you HAVE to let us wipe our hands - that’s the whole point” they say. so it was serendipitous when i was asked to write an article for boulder county home + garden on eco-conscious home items and furnishings. i had so much fun discovering these kitchen and home decor products that are both visually delightful (MUCH prettier than my shower caps!) AND support conservation and sustainability. THANK YOU to dot & army, MoMA, marley’s monsters, Khala & Co., minna, archive new york, area home, leah singh and coyuchi for your beautiful, creative and thoughtful designs.
Read Morethis new reality of corona “social distancing” and “shelter at home” has certainly been shocking and hard to get used to, but i have had some important learnings as well:
(1) ONE pair of sweatpants is NOT enough when you spend every day at home. usually this time of year i toggle between jeans and jammies each day. if i am not going out, i typically get into my jams right after dinner. i have two pairs of lulus that i wear to my bar classes (that is an indication of how frequently i exercise - most boulder moms have a collection of ten to fifteen pairs. but most boulder moms also wear their lulus as regular clothes. i may run an errand or two in mine after bar class, but i rarely wear them all day long.) however, with my new corona sofa regime, jeans are not comfortable attire for a full day. also, i think all the cookie dough i have been eating (we have been practicing home schooling “life skills” and the ability to make proper nestle tollhouse cookie dough is imperative) has made my skinny jeans even skinnier. i DO have a fairly extensive pj collection but i keep reading that staying in your pajamas all day is not good for your mental health. so sweatpants seem like a good compromise… unfortunately, i only have one pair. now my favorite day is the one when my sweats are fresh out of the laundry.
Read Morein the last few weeks the world has turned completely upside down. two weeks ago i attended what we lovingly refer to as the “no talent show” at my daughter’s elementary school. this is a day i dread each year as the show goes on for HOURS, the gym is always a bazillion degrees (this is coming from someone who is almost never too hot) and i end up feeling punch drunk and cheering too loudly out of desperation for it to end. this year my girlfriend confided that she’d had two beers before she came, which i thought was brilliant. in NINE years i have never thought to give myself an aid like that. and now i may never have to because it’s hard to imagine in our new corona reality that we will ever jam ourselves into a hot, stuffy gym with fourteen million elementary school kids, their sneezy, coughy siblings and all their parents and grandmas and grandpas to boot.
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