somehow against all rational thought i imagined going on holiday in california would also be a break from the corona. of course, the closer we got to the golden state, the more the virus was spiking in our destination. we arrived to a berkeley even more bunkered down than boulder, where EVERYONE was wearing masks in public, where most of the restaurants were closed (except for take-out), where many people still had not had a proper haircut (most notably my parents who look like a couple of the founding fathers - my dad favoring thomas jefferson [normally he looks more like jimmy carter] and my mother’s curls reminiscent of john adams’ with the middle bit filled in) and people practicing really conservative social distancing. nevertheless, we were DELIGHTED to arrive.
Read Morein this time of corona when air travel feels dicey, we decided to road trip to california for our annual summer visit… spoiler: WE MADE IT! that may be an obvious conclusion for most, but given my flimsy navigational abilities, it was no guarantee for us. (our odds WERE probably elevated by the fact that my first husband generously decided to accompany us on the ride out - corona concerns aside, i think he was worried that we would end up in toledo or baton rouge by mistake.)
Read Morefor as long as i can remember, my father has said this to me… when he was putting me to bed, when he was saying good-bye, or sometimes just because he was passing by. i always imagined a vast, navy blue sky sparkling with stars reaching down to a deep purple ocean filled with colorful, friendly fish. (somehow even after i saw jaws WAY too young, that imagery never penetrated this phrase.) the enormity of all of that love surrounding me and protecting me made feel so safe, like i moved through the world in my own special cocoon. so on the tougher days like when i wasn’t invited to the sleepover or i got a really bad hair cut (fall of 8th grade and again in 10th) or some boy didn’t like me back or we didn’t win the spirit cup senior year like EVERY other class or i didn’t get into the college i wanted (my father actually called some schools and asked for my hand printed applications back) or i didn’t get the job i interviewed for (i am colossally poor in job interviews) or the boyfriend whose eyes are too close together cheated on me (i should have known when my father pointed out his flawed eye configuration) or i forgot to put the parking brake on and my big, two-ton sedan rolled down a hill right into the side of another car whose owner was at the same party i was going to or i got laid off or i couldn’t get pregnant or i had to move from amsterdam to a hot, dusty mountain town or my marriage fell apart or i missed my children so much i remained paralyzed on the sofa binge watching "girlfriend’s guide to divorce” and eating pirate booty until the roof of my mouth was shredded or even last week when i couldn’t remember where i parked after a lunch date and looked for my car (with my date) for FORTY-FIVE minutes in unbelievable heat only to find it right in front of the restaurant (i know - it’s amazing - i did NOT hear from him again!) … on all of those days, and every other, i knew my father loved me. that’s no small thing.
Read Moreas if a global pandemic and quarantine and the whole country feeling like the apocalypse isn’t stressful enough, today i made my children pose for the holiday card… (our poppies are in FULL bloom and i couldn’t help myself.) they always look so forward to this photo shoot and were absolutely GRATEFUL that i suggested it (i’m a thoughtful, FUN mama like that.) i DID have to use the full force of my diminishing strength (since i can’t go to my bar method classes) to pull my son off the sofa and detach him from the Xbox and i didn’t even try to get him to change out of his corona comfort clothes (no one really knows how many days he’s been in them) - i just matched lucy’s outfit to his - but i could tell by the warm snarl on his face that he was thrilled. i ALSO had to promise them dunkin’ donuts AND frozen custard from the good times drive thru which is a much richer offer than i usually extend, but i really didn’t want to miss the poppies.
Read More(a road trip to my grandparents’ house circa 1974)
i am not sure what week of corona it is anymore, but here in boulder it is now summer. last week my son virtually “graduated” from middle school with a youtube video sharing their 8th grade yearbook photos and some candids and my daughter’s fourth grade year was capped off with a parade of her teachers on bikes and decorated cars. both of these ceremonies made me teary and stand in shock at what has happened the last couple of months. the transition to online school was so swift and difficult to manage, but now we are all wondering WHAT THE HELL we are going to do with our kids until it starts up again?
Read Morefor some reason it was not easy for me to get pregnant. we tried all kinds of things (besides the obvious) before finally ending up seeing the amazing dr. cedars of UCSF’s center for reproductive health. dr. cedars guided us through the whole IVF process and we ended up with ten embryos. two of those we used to get theo and we froze the rest. then we moved from san francisco to amsterdam.
Read Moreseder means “order.” there is an order to every aspect of the passover celebration from the way the seder plate is prepared to which course is served first and second and third to what prayer is said, what song is sung, what question is asked and when. even though i am not jewish, i have been hosting passover dinners for nearly twenty years. inevitably i mix up at least one aspect of the order. sometimes i even schedule the seder for the wrong evening - the jewish calendar is confusing and i am not always sure if “begins at sundown” means the dinner should take place that night or the next. i give myself a pass on this as a shiksa mama raising jewish children. i have enough trouble with simple time telling (my mom thinks that’s because i had the chicken pox the week i was meant to learn it in first grade) and adjusting to different time zones and daylight savings.
Read Moremy whole life there have been two essential easter recipes served at our brunch: my mother’s mushroom crust quiche and her easter buns. they are both a little trashy… the quiche has smashed up saltines in the crust and the buns are made with the dough that comes in a can you bang on the counter to pop open. but they are both delicious. the quiche (or KWEE-CHEE as theo used to call it) LOOKS a little more elegant, but the buns are never pretty. the filling always squirts out and the jam slides around so they are just a mess. i have tried and tried to clean them up to no avail. when new people come for easter, they usually bypass them on the buffet and i have to force them to try one… no one has ever been disappointed. AND they are both still yummy, cold, the next morning as leftovers. happy, happy easter all! x0xx
Read Morein the last few weeks the world has turned completely upside down. two weeks ago i attended what we lovingly refer to as the “no talent show” at my daughter’s elementary school. this is a day i dread each year as the show goes on for HOURS, the gym is always a bazillion degrees (this is coming from someone who is almost never too hot) and i end up feeling punch drunk and cheering too loudly out of desperation for it to end. this year my girlfriend confided that she’d had two beers before she came, which i thought was brilliant. in NINE years i have never thought to give myself an aid like that. and now i may never have to because it’s hard to imagine in our new corona reality that we will ever jam ourselves into a hot, stuffy gym with fourteen million elementary school kids, their sneezy, coughy siblings and all their parents and grandmas and grandpas to boot.
Read Morethe BEST breakfast of the year is always christmas morning because of my mother’s sticky buns. they are coils of cinnamon deliciousness with a sticky, brown sugar topping baked on. she makes two pans each year - one with pecans and one without (my nephew has nut allergies.) i prefer the ones with pecans, but i would NEVER turn down a plain one. we think about and anticipate the sticky buns all year long… rehashing how many each of us ate the year before and whether someone selfishly snuck a third before everyone else had seconds. when the pans are cooling we circle round them like sharks, peeking under the tin foil covers and trying to count how many there are (it always varies depending on the girth of the buns) - my mother protectively swatting us away and shooing us out of the kitchen.
Read MoreSEE’S SCOTCHMALLOWS
growing up in california, one of the most exciting things was to walk into the classic black and white sweet shop, see’s candies, on shattuck avenue. it always smelled outrageous in there and the sales people (in their crisp white uniforms) greeted you with a free sample of your choice. today, this candy company created by charles see in 1921 featuring his mother’s (mary see) original candy recipes is just the same. the iconic black and white checkerboard flooring inspired by mary’s own kitchen takes you back to another time. see’s first candy shop was established in los angeles and in 1936 see’s candies began opening up all over northern california as well. now there are shops across the country (including DIA boulders!)
Read Morelast spring i took my kids to the studio of photographer, george lange. he had been living in boulder after a storied career as a celebrity photographer whose projects took him all over the world and was preparing for yet another move back to his hometown of pittsburgh. he was clearing out the prints from decades of work shooting all kinds of interesting people: the cast of friends, tom hanks, sophia loren, a young uma thurman, the seinfeld gang, kermit the frog, bill gates and steve jobs (together!) andy warhol, athletes and rappers and rockstars and jazz musicians, authors and politicians. we spent hours there pouring over the different prints and deciding which ones to bring home. at some point, mr. lange wandered into the room where we were organizing our choices and started chatting with theo about going to summer camp. (theo was wearing his camp kee tov hoodie.) he was unassuming and warm and i thought he was another customer. but then he asked me if i would mind if he took a couple of pictures of the kids and i realized who he was. we went into the garden where he set up the backdrop and he clicked away for about five minutes. he took my contact info so he could share the photos with me later.
Read Morei moved to new york to go to grad school when i was twenty-three or four. i felt like i needed to stay after i completed my program because my studies had been so intense that i might as well have been in kansas for all i saw of the city. thus began the cycle of my tortured clashesque dilemma: “should i stay or should i go now?” that i revisited each summer. the appeal of california was strong - my whole family was there, it was the landscape of my childhood and i am generally a sunny person in keeping with the california persona. but new york offered so many freedoms - the ability to pop into a taxi without worrying about the directions, a numbered grid geography that also alleviated my navigational challenges (unless i was too far downtown where the streets are a jumble of unalphabetized names), the potential to be both anonymous (not having to smile and say hello to everyone you pass on the street as is customary in california - i find this friendliness EXHAUSTING) and known (by my dry cleaner, my bodega guy, my corner take out) and, of course, the SUBWAY - such an easy system that even i, who continues to get lost in my own hometown, could competently traverse the city. my california/new york conflict was so strong that for a while, i would only date transplanted californians, in case i decided i wanted to move back.
Read Moreas the holidays approach, stress levels elevate for most of us with all of the extra planning and socializing and spending and obligation to celebrate with perhaps less than favorite family members. and of course, there is always the possibility that you will be invited to share thanksgiving at the home of someone who puts raisins in their cranberry sauce, which is really the tipping point for me. so i am sharing my mother’s delicious raisin - FREE cranberry recipe once again. you can always bring it as a hostess gift to insure that you won’t be subjected to that dreaded dried fruit at your holiday meal. happy, happy thanksgiving!
Read Morehalloween in boulder is outrageous. when we stepped out to go trick or treating our first year in colorado, i thought we’d wandered onto a movie set. literally EVERY house in our neighborhood was decorated, and not just with a pumpkin or two but with strings of orange lights, giant spiders and webs stretched across the houses, skeletons and zombies and werewolves emerging from the lawns and ghosts and ghoulies hanging from the trees. and when you ring the bell, the homeowners answer in full costume. sometimes they jump out at you and sometimes they just smile and offer the kids candy and the parents a glass of wine or a beer. yes - if you accept all the libations presented, you will be quite tipsy by the end of your neighborhood rounds. there are even a few famous addresses that do full spook houses… i took lucy to the one on 10th street when she was a little too young and we were both traumatized … i nearly peed my pants when a gazillion enormous spiders dropped on us and she let out a wail that lasted for at least two blocks. we had to retire for the evening after that.
Read Morethis is the final week of summer in boulder, colorado (which feels crazy as school will start in 90 plus degree weather.) like any superstar mom, i’ve been trying to fill the last few days with end of summer fun. last night we had our annual strawberry shortcake dinner (JUST strawberry shortcake for dinner - the BEST!) we had spent the afternoon at costco so we had a three pack of reddi wip on hand. (we’ve decided that homemade “whup,” as my daughter calls it, tastes better, but the cans are much more exciting to use.) we ate it on the porch because boulder had finally cooled down for the day and we could comfortably be outside. our little four year old neighbor came walking by and we offered him a reddi wip squirt in the mouth because i am that much FUN (his mother did agree.) i MIGHT have gotten him a little high as it took me three times to figure out how to hold the can at the right angle so that actual whip cream came out, instead of just vapors (too much fun?) i was also in the midst of planning a day at elitch gardens, denver’s roller coaster park, on the very last day of summer. we LOVE roller coasters, but we’ve never gone there as it is always so hot. but i was going to bring a big hat and suck it up because i am SUCH an awesome mom.
Read Moreevery summer the kids and i spend a month in northern california. they go to camp during the day (kee tov) where they each have a gang of dear friends because all the same kids return year after year. EVERY day they come home smiling and full of stories about their crazy camp adventures. they also come home VERY dirty, which is a bit challenging for me, but i try not to get too flapped and keep baby wipes in the car, except on “messy day” when they need to be seriously hosed down and baby wipes are moot. (on messy day they are squirted with paint and chocolate sauce and whip cream and slime and whatever else their counselors come up with… they get off the bus wearing garbage bags!)
Read Morefrom the time my first baby was born, we have always given his father something with his hand touch for father’s day. we started with theo’s tiny hand print on a tee shirt. in subsequent years, we put his hand or foot print on the interior of hats, the front pocket of pajamas or a button down shirt and numerous jackets. when lucy was born, we added her print too. we began strategically placing the prints in locations that only the wearer knew about, when we realized that some of the items were only worn around the house.
Read Morein fourth grade i had a little bunny named puffin. he had this super soft, fluffy, long hair that i would brush with a special metal comb to get the tangles out. i kept all of the fur that came out in the comb, intending to sew a little pillow and stuff it with puffin’s hair (strange?) he never seemed to mind these grooming sessions… he just sat still in my lap while i styled him, like he was at sally hershberger’s. unlike a lot of bunnies, he wasn’t afraid of people and enjoyed being held and snuggled up. he never “said” as much (he was pretty quiet), but i could FEEL how much he loved me… we were that connected, like eliot and E.T.
Read Morewe were still in amsterdam over passover this year, so we had a belated seder dinner this weekend. seders are a big deal to prepare… there’s all of the components of the seder plate, which depending on where you live, can be difficult to come by. in new york, all of the markets suddenly dedicate at least two aisles to passover related groceries in the week leading up to the holiday. in amsterdam, you would never know passover is happening. i had to roast a drumstick our first year living there because i couldn’t make the butcher understand the lamb shank. also, there is no matzo meal, only matzo crackers. in order to make matzo ball soup, i had to first grind up the crackers myself with a rolling pin. it was like little house on the jewish prairie in my amsterdam apartment. horseradish, also, is not easy to find. for that i would have to go to what we referred to as the "expat black market.” it’s a tiny shop on leidesgracht that caters to homesick american and british expats. the prices are outrageous, but it’s often the only place to get a crucial ingredient… a can of libby’s, libby’s, libby’s pumpkin, for example, is typically about ten euros around thanksgiving! so for a shiksa raising my children jewish (the faith of their father), seders can be a challenge, especially when we were living in the netherlands.
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