as if a global pandemic and quarantine and the whole country feeling like the apocalypse isn’t stressful enough, today i made my children pose for the holiday card… (our poppies are in FULL bloom and i couldn’t help myself.) they always look so forward to this photo shoot and were absolutely GRATEFUL that i suggested it (i’m a thoughtful, FUN mama like that.) i DID have to use the full force of my diminishing strength (since i can’t go to my bar method classes) to pull my son off the sofa and detach him from the Xbox and i didn’t even try to get him to change out of his corona comfort clothes (no one really knows how many days he’s been in them) - i just matched lucy’s outfit to his - but i could tell by the warm snarl on his face that he was thrilled. i ALSO had to promise them dunkin’ donuts AND frozen custard from the good times drive thru which is a much richer offer than i usually extend, but i really didn’t want to miss the poppies.
Read Morewhen my grandmother died, my parents packed up all of her dishes, trinkets, costume jewelry, linens, letters and photos and put the boxes up in their attic where they sat for many years. one summer when i was home and my kids were in camp, my mother asked me to go through it all. i call it my “v.c. andrews summer” as i sat up there like a flower in the attic (minus the incestuous sibling relationships and arsenic laced cookies) sorting and organizing and labeling everything for weeks. i was allowed out each evening to join everyone for dinner, but after i dropped the kids at camp each day, i climbed the skinny wooden ladder and crawled through the small opening at the top (bonking my head most days) and continued my work. it was easy to focus because there was no cell reception and it was such a pain in the popper to come down that i just didn’t.
Read Morethere are few things in this world as disgusting as raisins. they look like droppings, get stuck in your teeth (marring your smile and causing cavities) and are notorious for popping up in all kinds of baked goods (scones, muffins, cookies) that should only have chocolate chips. and unfortunately, because of their size and color, raisins sometimes appear to be chocolate, which is a terrible surprise for the unsuspecting consumer.
Read Morei had so much fun writing this article on bringing natural elements into your home as fall decor. MANY THANKS to the super talented designers and photographers for letting me share their work: emily minton redfield photography, helly swenson duncan of design matters home, lindsay nichols photography, neelam gurm of neelam interiors, gena winter and aubriana kasper of marigold, chris nyce of nyceonephotography, kristin reisinger of spacecraft, heather knierim of HBK photography, kathy peden photography, susan kosonocky of restyle design, d’ann boal of smitten & swoon, lindy williams of westward foundry, rangefinder photography, vanessa empire interiors, nicholas gringold photography, garden studio design and nicole morell interiors. x0x
Read Morehank just turned THREE years old (twenty-one in dog years.) we were feeling very remiss as last september we did not have a proper party so we wanted to make sure we celebrated even though we’re in the middle of a pandemic.
Read Morebecause the scenery on our road trip from colorado to california was so uninspiring, we decided to take a different route back in hopes of seeing lots of ocean and even those elusive, giant red rocks. we left our darling cottage at the crack of dawn and hopped on highway 1, the road that follows the coastline, to take us to los angeles. my kids had been questioning why we were traveling a way that would add hours to our journey, but as soon as we hit half moon bay, they understood. it was a LONG day (we were in the car for ELEVEN hours) but my heart was swelling as we traced the coast and viewed the pacific in all of its iterations: rocky cliffs, pebbled beaches, sandy dunes… we detoured in pebble beach and took the 17 mile drive - breathtaking! my girlfriend grew up there so we had her on the phone narrating our journey as we drove through pebble and carmel. she directed us to the most adorable sweet shop on ocean avenue (it was still too early to go in, but we are determined to return!)
Read Moresomehow against all rational thought i imagined going on holiday in california would also be a break from the corona. of course, the closer we got to the golden state, the more the virus was spiking in our destination. we arrived to a berkeley even more bunkered down than boulder, where EVERYONE was wearing masks in public, where most of the restaurants were closed (except for take-out), where many people still had not had a proper haircut (most notably my parents who look like a couple of the founding fathers - my dad favoring thomas jefferson [normally he looks more like jimmy carter] and my mother’s curls reminiscent of john adams’ with the middle bit filled in) and people practicing really conservative social distancing. nevertheless, we were DELIGHTED to arrive.
Read Morein this time of corona when air travel feels dicey, we decided to road trip to california for our annual summer visit… spoiler: WE MADE IT! that may be an obvious conclusion for most, but given my flimsy navigational abilities, it was no guarantee for us. (our odds WERE probably elevated by the fact that my first husband generously decided to accompany us on the ride out - corona concerns aside, i think he was worried that we would end up in toledo or baton rouge by mistake.)
Read Morefor as long as i can remember, my father has said this to me… when he was putting me to bed, when he was saying good-bye, or sometimes just because he was passing by. i always imagined a vast, navy blue sky sparkling with stars reaching down to a deep purple ocean filled with colorful, friendly fish. (somehow even after i saw jaws WAY too young, that imagery never penetrated this phrase.) the enormity of all of that love surrounding me and protecting me made feel so safe, like i moved through the world in my own special cocoon. so on the tougher days like when i wasn’t invited to the sleepover or i got a really bad hair cut (fall of 8th grade and again in 10th) or some boy didn’t like me back or we didn’t win the spirit cup senior year like EVERY other class or i didn’t get into the college i wanted (my father actually called some schools and asked for my hand printed applications back) or i didn’t get the job i interviewed for (i am colossally poor in job interviews) or the boyfriend whose eyes are too close together cheated on me (i should have known when my father pointed out his flawed eye configuration) or i forgot to put the parking brake on and my big, two-ton sedan rolled down a hill right into the side of another car whose owner was at the same party i was going to or i got laid off or i couldn’t get pregnant or i had to move from amsterdam to a hot, dusty mountain town or my marriage fell apart or i missed my children so much i remained paralyzed on the sofa binge watching "girlfriend’s guide to divorce” and eating pirate booty until the roof of my mouth was shredded or even last week when i couldn’t remember where i parked after a lunch date and looked for my car (with my date) for FORTY-FIVE minutes in unbelievable heat only to find it right in front of the restaurant (i know - it’s amazing - i did NOT hear from him again!) … on all of those days, and every other, i knew my father loved me. that’s no small thing.
Read Moreas if a global pandemic and quarantine and the whole country feeling like the apocalypse isn’t stressful enough, today i made my children pose for the holiday card… (our poppies are in FULL bloom and i couldn’t help myself.) they always look so forward to this photo shoot and were absolutely GRATEFUL that i suggested it (i’m a thoughtful, FUN mama like that.) i DID have to use the full force of my diminishing strength (since i can’t go to my bar method classes) to pull my son off the sofa and detach him from the Xbox and i didn’t even try to get him to change out of his corona comfort clothes (no one really knows how many days he’s been in them) - i just matched lucy’s outfit to his - but i could tell by the warm snarl on his face that he was thrilled. i ALSO had to promise them dunkin’ donuts AND frozen custard from the good times drive thru which is a much richer offer than i usually extend, but i really didn’t want to miss the poppies.
Read More(a road trip to my grandparents’ house circa 1974)
i am not sure what week of corona it is anymore, but here in boulder it is now summer. last week my son virtually “graduated” from middle school with a youtube video sharing their 8th grade yearbook photos and some candids and my daughter’s fourth grade year was capped off with a parade of her teachers on bikes and decorated cars. both of these ceremonies made me teary and stand in shock at what has happened the last couple of months. the transition to online school was so swift and difficult to manage, but now we are all wondering WHAT THE HELL we are going to do with our kids until it starts up again?
Read Morefor some reason it was not easy for me to get pregnant. we tried all kinds of things (besides the obvious) before finally ending up seeing the amazing dr. cedars of UCSF’s center for reproductive health. dr. cedars guided us through the whole IVF process and we ended up with ten embryos. two of those we used to get theo and we froze the rest. then we moved from san francisco to amsterdam.
Read Moreseder means “order.” there is an order to every aspect of the passover celebration from the way the seder plate is prepared to which course is served first and second and third to what prayer is said, what song is sung, what question is asked and when. even though i am not jewish, i have been hosting passover dinners for nearly twenty years. inevitably i mix up at least one aspect of the order. sometimes i even schedule the seder for the wrong evening - the jewish calendar is confusing and i am not always sure if “begins at sundown” means the dinner should take place that night or the next. i give myself a pass on this as a shiksa mama raising jewish children. i have enough trouble with simple time telling (my mom thinks that’s because i had the chicken pox the week i was meant to learn it in first grade) and adjusting to different time zones and daylight savings.
Read Moremy whole life there have been two essential easter recipes served at our brunch: my mother’s mushroom crust quiche and her easter buns. they are both a little trashy… the quiche has smashed up saltines in the crust and the buns are made with the dough that comes in a can you bang on the counter to pop open. but they are both delicious. the quiche (or KWEE-CHEE as theo used to call it) LOOKS a little more elegant, but the buns are never pretty. the filling always squirts out and the jam slides around so they are just a mess. i have tried and tried to clean them up to no avail. when new people come for easter, they usually bypass them on the buffet and i have to force them to try one… no one has ever been disappointed. AND they are both still yummy, cold, the next morning as leftovers. happy, happy easter all! x0xx
Read Morein the last few weeks the world has turned completely upside down. two weeks ago i attended what we lovingly refer to as the “no talent show” at my daughter’s elementary school. this is a day i dread each year as the show goes on for HOURS, the gym is always a bazillion degrees (this is coming from someone who is almost never too hot) and i end up feeling punch drunk and cheering too loudly out of desperation for it to end. this year my girlfriend confided that she’d had two beers before she came, which i thought was brilliant. in NINE years i have never thought to give myself an aid like that. and now i may never have to because it’s hard to imagine in our new corona reality that we will ever jam ourselves into a hot, stuffy gym with fourteen million elementary school kids, their sneezy, coughy siblings and all their parents and grandmas and grandpas to boot.
Read Morethe BEST breakfast of the year is always christmas morning because of my mother’s sticky buns. they are coils of cinnamon deliciousness with a sticky, brown sugar topping baked on. she makes two pans each year - one with pecans and one without (my nephew has nut allergies.) i prefer the ones with pecans, but i would NEVER turn down a plain one. we think about and anticipate the sticky buns all year long… rehashing how many each of us ate the year before and whether someone selfishly snuck a third before everyone else had seconds. when the pans are cooling we circle round them like sharks, peeking under the tin foil covers and trying to count how many there are (it always varies depending on the girth of the buns) - my mother protectively swatting us away and shooing us out of the kitchen.
Read MoreSEE’S SCOTCHMALLOWS
growing up in california, one of the most exciting things was to walk into the classic black and white sweet shop, see’s candies, on shattuck avenue. it always smelled outrageous in there and the sales people (in their crisp white uniforms) greeted you with a free sample of your choice. today, this candy company created by charles see in 1921 featuring his mother’s (mary see) original candy recipes is just the same. the iconic black and white checkerboard flooring inspired by mary’s own kitchen takes you back to another time. see’s first candy shop was established in los angeles and in 1936 see’s candies began opening up all over northern california as well. now there are shops across the country (including DIA boulders!)
Read Morelast spring i took my kids to the studio of photographer, george lange. he had been living in boulder after a storied career as a celebrity photographer whose projects took him all over the world and was preparing for yet another move back to his hometown of pittsburgh. he was clearing out the prints from decades of work shooting all kinds of interesting people: the cast of friends, tom hanks, sophia loren, a young uma thurman, the seinfeld gang, kermit the frog, bill gates and steve jobs (together!) andy warhol, athletes and rappers and rockstars and jazz musicians, authors and politicians. we spent hours there pouring over the different prints and deciding which ones to bring home. at some point, mr. lange wandered into the room where we were organizing our choices and started chatting with theo about going to summer camp. (theo was wearing his camp kee tov hoodie.) he was unassuming and warm and i thought he was another customer. but then he asked me if i would mind if he took a couple of pictures of the kids and i realized who he was. we went into the garden where he set up the backdrop and he clicked away for about five minutes. he took my contact info so he could share the photos with me later.
Read Morei moved to new york to go to grad school when i was twenty-three or four. i felt like i needed to stay after i completed my program because my studies had been so intense that i might as well have been in kansas for all i saw of the city. thus began the cycle of my tortured clashesque dilemma: “should i stay or should i go now?” that i revisited each summer. the appeal of california was strong - my whole family was there, it was the landscape of my childhood and i am generally a sunny person in keeping with the california persona. but new york offered so many freedoms - the ability to pop into a taxi without worrying about the directions, a numbered grid geography that also alleviated my navigational challenges (unless i was too far downtown where the streets are a jumble of unalphabetized names), the potential to be both anonymous (not having to smile and say hello to everyone you pass on the street as is customary in california - i find this friendliness EXHAUSTING) and known (by my dry cleaner, my bodega guy, my corner take out) and, of course, the SUBWAY - such an easy system that even i, who continues to get lost in my own hometown, could competently traverse the city. my california/new york conflict was so strong that for a while, i would only date transplanted californians, in case i decided i wanted to move back.
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