we LOVE valentine’s day around here… we love MAKING valentines…
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HAPPY, HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY theo! x0x0x
(LOOK at the cheeks on that guy - i cropped his cute bum out because he gets embarrassed now…)
when you have a new baby, especially a cute one, the grandmas come up to you EVERYWHERE - in the market, at the park, in restaurants and coffee shops and the line for the loo and warn you, “ENJOY that boy… it goes so fast!” you nod at them sweetly, inwardly annoyed and think about the fact that you can’t remember the last time you slept through the night or slept in or felt even remotely well rested and it just seems impossible because time actually feels like it’s on pause. and then POOF that little cherub of a baby is SIXTEEN YEARS OLD and you just want to bubble wrap him and keep him in the closet so he can’t grow up anymore. so don’t look for theo around town because that’s exactly where he is… i am keeping him safe and sound and frozen in time because i finally understand what those grandmas meant. i will be happy to pass on your birthday wishes to my sweet boy who will not be getting any older… i love him too much for that! HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dearest, darling theo! x0x0x
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happy new year 2022
i am writing this on the afternoon of new year’s eve 2021. i am relieved for the start of 2022 because generally, i like even numbers much better than odd ones (which is why i skip the odd birthdays and just stay an even age for two years which CAN lead to some confusion and me not always knowing exactly how old i am, but then i just check my bumble account because that thing updates automatically) and because 2021 was mostly a shit fuck of a year…not so unlike 2020.
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the monkey
(even at 15 my grandmother seemed to know exactly what she wanted)
my paternal grandmother was fierce. she lived the way she wanted and you pretty much just went along. she liked things a certain way and if something wasn’t to her choosing she would wave her hand, say, “oh FISH!” and carry on as she deemed appropriate. you didn’t really want to get in her way.
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holiday marzipan
we spent five christmases in amsterdam while we were living there as expats… there is no more magical place to spend the holidays… there are strings of lights outlining the bridges and arching across the streets so that the whole city is lit up, there are pop up outdoor ice skating rinks and holiday markets and olie bollen (DELICIOUS big round donuts doused in powdered sugar) trucks suddenly appear all over the city. but my favorite tradition was the christmas candy. pompadour, our beloved neighborhood chocolate shop, made whimsical marzipan characters (funny frogs, little piggies, red, polka-dotted toad stools) and fruit (oranges, pears and a pokey, round one that i could never identify) each december. i still don’t know what those guys had to do with christmas, but i looked forward to seeing them (and EATING them) in pompadour’s front windows during the holiday season.
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holiday photo 2021
in family, holiday, hank, photography
once again my kids completely lucked out for our holiday photo. my super talented friend, stephanie beresford, wanted to try out some new camera lenses and did a little shoot with them in the backyard. i have no idea when we did this… just that it was “some time” during the pandemic (i think i have permanent corona brain, which has left me unable to remember when anything happened) but it WAS in 2021. theo’s hair is even longer now and lucy has more of a “middle school” air about her, but beyond that they look the same. after all that these kids have had to process in the last two years: the corona, home schooling (especially “math with mom”), me being in school and FREAKING OUT over autocad and sketchup, endless door dash, multiple horrendous shootings, me too, BLM, all the wild fires and smokey air, the loss of our beloved GG AND the loss of our grandma on the “i” street, my vacuum being in the shop for so long (which has lots of ramifications for MY mental health and subsequently theirs) and just the loss of “normal life” (i keep imagining them sitting in a bar in their forties chatting with someone about this pandemic period, “how crazy was your mom during corona?”) i just couldn’t put them through further trauma for a more recent photo… i’m an AWESOME mom like that!
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thanksgiving grandmas x0x
in dining room, family, holiday, recipe
i was lucky enough to have three grandmothers (FOUR if you count the grandma we used to wave to on the “i” street): my father’s mother, my mother’s mother (who i never met because she was gone long before i was born) and my gg, my grandpa’s second wife. all of these women had a huge impact on my life.
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thanksgiving gratitude
(hank LOVES dressing up for thanksgiving!)
even though the corona is STILL effecting us all (nearly TWO YEARS later… HAY SEUS!) the pandemic has made me really grateful for a lot of things i took for granted PP…
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devil's thumb
lucy and i recently had a special mama/daughter weekend at devil’s thumb ranch. theo was meant to come, but i got mixed up (corona brain!) and thought he didn’t have school on friday (it was the monday that was off and theo would have missed three tests) so lu and i played hooky instead.
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happy, happy halloween! x00xx
halloween is one of my least favorite holidays… i don’t like bloody stuff or getting scared or being out in the cold - more than once we’ve had halloween SNOW here in boulder - or staying up too late. (one year lucy got the barfing flu and she could not go trick or treating - i have to say i was so HAPPY to stay home and just hand out candy - she wasn’t feeling TOO bad. it WAS a little unnerving because i wasn’t sure i should let her rest on the sofa in case she threw up again, but other than that nagging concern it was the BEST halloween!) i DO like candy and i LOVE seeing my kids dressed up (as long as there is no blood or wounds or axes or spooky masks.) unfortunately, they don’t appreciate when i weigh in on their costumes anymore… PRAISE JESUS i have hank.
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hank's FOURTH birthday
(baby hank at his first birthday)
hank celebrated his fourth birthday last week…he’s TWENTY-EIGHT in dog years. this year his birthday fell on yom kippur… that’s a bit of a bummer because it’s not the most festive day (it’s “the day of atonement” in judaism.) the morning before, he skipped his breakfast. i can’t tell you how unusual that is so i thought maybe he was fasting a day early in order to get yom out of the way so we could properly celebrate on his special day. or maybe he was just being really cagey. of course, the fact that he wasn’t eating made me super worried so i scrambled him some eggs to entice him. he DID happily eat those. i forgot about his food bowl full of kibble and left for a meeting. when i returned he had eaten that too, so ultimately he had TWO breakfasts.
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yom kippur
(theo at his bar mitzvah)
this week is yom kippur, the day of atonement in the jewish religion. while i never converted, i am raising my children in the faith of their father (with santa and the bunny thrown in) and i have spent more time in temple than i have in any other religious setting. i have hosted loads of seders, rosh hashana dinners and break fasts (i can cook all of the holiday food, except brisket - my brisket is TERRIBLE - so we have roast chicken instead), i know a fair bit of the prayers, or at least the tunes and i have a general understanding of the fundamentals of the religion.
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restoration
each summer when we return to boulder from our long stay in california i have “reentry” problems… i feel jumbled and foggy and a bit overwhelmed. so i have developed a (compulsive?) process of restoration that helps me adjust back to my boulder life - basically i CLEAN everything. i start with the laundry, of course. the last two summers we have road tripped to berkeley and back (the first summer because of the corona and this summer because hank can’t fly anymore… he used to travel as an “emotional support” dog but all the airlines changed the rules as people started bringing “therapeutic” peacocks and donkeys on their flights. hank is too big for the carrier you can keep at your feet and with his smush face it’s not safe for him to be placed in the underbelly of the plane so the only way to get him to california is to drive.) even if we leave the west coast with suitcases full of clean clothes, after a week in the car we have tons of dirty stuff. this may take several wash loads, which gives me time to clean out the dressers and pull all the items that are too small or otherwise deemed unnecessary. this year i was delighted to realize that i’d sorted through the dressers and closets right before we left so i could put the clean clothes back straight away.
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i left my heart in san francisco
we are preparing to road trip back to boulder from berkeley this week. last summer we drove out because of the corona but this summer we drove because hank is not allowed to fly anymore. he used to travel as an “emotional support” dog but people started boarding with peacocks and donkeys in tow and now the whole program is cancelled.… i am reposting this story from a couple of summers ago because i am always so sad to leave… we DID hit up all of our favorites, except bartavelle because they closed during the pandemic. we’ve had an absolutely lovely time and are so excited that we will be able to come back for thanksgiving this year! x0x
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easter comfort food
my whole life there have been two essential easter recipes served at our brunch: my mother’s mushroom crust quiche and her easter buns. they are both a little trashy… the quiche has smashed up saltines in the crust and the buns are made with the dough that comes in a can you bang on the counter to pop open. but they are both delicious. the quiche (or KWEE-CHEE as theo used to call it) LOOKS a little more elegant, but the buns are never pretty. the filling always squirts out and the jam slides around so they are just a mess. i have tried and tried to clean them up to no avail. when new people come for easter, they usually bypass them on the buffet and i have to force them to try one… no one has ever been disappointed. AND they are both still yummy, cold, the next morning as leftovers. happy, happy easter all! x0xx
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the seder plate
i feel like we should have invited the flintstones to passover this year (except for the corona) because i am pretty sure the butcher gave me a brontosaurus bone to roast for the seder plate. it’s always a bit of a crap shoot about what they deem a “lamb shank” and honestly, i have never totally figured it out either. i am not at all familiar with the anatomy of a sheep (or the anatomy of a human for that matter… when i used to take my bar class pre pandemic i could only do the exercises if the teacher demonstrated what we should be doing. when they started saying things like, “lift your deltoids” or “squeeze your quadriceps” i would have to look around the room and see what everyone else was doing. that’s what happens when you don’t pay attention in biology and get all of your medical knowledge from gray’s anatomy.) wishing you all a happy, peaceful passover! x0x
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right now things feel terribly OUT of order...
as i am sitting in my north boulder home this evening there are two horrible incidents being dealt with by the boulder police and additional swat teams: the north boulder high school has been locked up (all students who were at sports practices brought inside) and a shooter in a south boulder king soopers market, who as i write this, is still “active.” i don’t know if these situations are related but i can say that it has been a frightening afternoon and none of us have enough bandwidth for this after the past year of the corona, BLM, fires, electrical outages, floods, me too, the crazy election and all of the isolation. my favorite of the jewish holidays is approaching - passover - the one that puts everything in order and i am hoping that all the madness that seems to exist in our current world will somehow be safely dealt with because this is just TOO MUCH! i am reposting a story about passover and vacuuming because it calms me down…
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happy new year! x0x
the best way i can describe the last three months is humbling… because i’d had such a slow spring work-wise, due to the pandemic, i decided to enroll in a few classes (three!) to bump up and fill in holes in my design knowledge. two of the courses were technical and between them i learned the adobe suite (illustrator, in design, photoshop), sketch up and autocad. i cannot emphasize enough how far out of my wheelhouse these programs are… i am probably the last person on the planet who still uses a paper agenda to keep track of my schedule and when we have daylight savings my car clock is an hour off for six months because i have no idea how to change it. a few times i have given my first husband a ride when the clock was wrong and he has modified it, which causes me to show up either an hour early or an hour late to places because i have taught myself to adjust for it.
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christmas traditions
corona has completely upended christmas this year. we are not meant to travel or even celebrate locally with others outside of our immediate families. so this will be the first boulder christmas for my family… since we’ve returned to the states we have always gone to california. traditions i have taken for granted will have to wait: my mother’s christmas buns (i CANNOT replicate these - i tried when we were living in amsterdam and they came out like little rocks) or visiting the giant gingerbread house at the fairmont hotel with our dear friends, or going to see the nutcracker (the SF ballet does a terrific one!) or my very favorite - christmas dinner at my sister in law’s house in san francisco (this is a big affair - they also include several other families from various aspects of their lives. i only see these families at this dinner and it is so much fun to note how their children have grown and hear the stories of what has happened to them over the course of the year. plus the food is DELICIOUS - jedo makes a big roast with red pepper sauce, shanon brings a huge, creative, colorful salad, others bring all kinds of interesting side dishes and my mother shares a platter of frosted cookies, homemade caramels and chocolate peanut butter balls. when the kids were smaller, they would eat first while we grown ups hovered over them, cutting their roast beef and encouraging them to try the salad and refilling their milk. we generously let them have first dibs on the desserts and then they would be sequestered away with chocolate smeared faces and a movie. the grown ups would then enjoy a long, relaxing, yummy dinner. last year the kids were deemed competent enough to cut their own meat and we all ate at the same time, which was lovely. the whole evening is chaotic [especially during the opening of presents - one year all of the kids were given red adidas track suits like the royal tenenbaums, which was amazing] festive and exhausting. it is perfect. i can’t wait for next year when i really hope we can resume this special celebration.)
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get your "gezellig" on - boulder county home + garden, winter 2020
here are the proper images of the gezellig article i wrote for the boulder county home + garden winter edition… wishing you all a super cozy holiday season! x0xx
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